


I see you now

by MarieRuby



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8415742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieRuby/pseuds/MarieRuby
Summary: “I didn’t think I could be loved.” He whispers softly in the quiet of night. His words were soft and breathy, an admission that left his mouth without permission. They were a testament of faith.





	

 

“I didn’t think I could be loved.” He whispers softly in the quiet of night. His words were soft and breathy, an admission that left his mouth without permission. They were a testament of faith.

It broke Magnus heart. There were no words that could explain what he was feeling, the deep aching pain in his heart. It was like someone ripped a piece of him, tugged his lungs and squeezed until he was breathless.

“Everyday…” Alec continues, “Everyday I felt alone, so alone, like... I was inside a bubble.” He swallows, and it’s hard to make his voice work for a second. “Everyone could be around me, and I would feel invisible, like I didn’t belong. Anywhere.” He licks his lips, and lets the words break free.

“So how could anyone love me, if nobody could see me?” He stops talking, and lets his heartbeat get back to normal. He is shaking a little, and as a result he can feel Magnus trembling on his arms.

They are lying on the bed, naked and embracing. Magnus head is on Alec’s chest, and his hand is slowly tracing patterns on his boyfriend's bare arms. Its intimate, and it feels surreal, that they get to have these moments.

After finding Jace, fighting the Clave, the prejudice and hate that the Nephilim culture was infested with, love confessions were necessary. With rapid hands, lingering touches, foreheads touching, they muttered _I love you_ like they were dying men, lost at sea. They were each other’s lifeboat, and they sailed back to land together, safely.

“But then… “ He pauses, like he needs to make sure of what he says next.

“I think we saw each other.”

It feels like a miracle. It is a miracle, it can’t be a coincidence, that they found each other. Magnus wants to get on his knees and pray, to beg and plead, bargain and threat to make this last forever. By all the angels and demons, let him have it.

“ _Pujian kpd Tuhan_ ” He can’t help voicing the sacred hallelujah, the grateful benediction that he keeps in his memory for moments like this, when his emotions are overwhelming his whole being.

Alec doesn’t know what it means, but he understands. Magnus shifts, and holds himself above the shadowhunter. He slowly lets their lips touch, and it should burn his skin, to experience something so holy.

It feels as new as ever, the first brush of lips and the tangling of their tongues, that gradually becomes more insistent, desperate and warm; the air changes around them,a mixture of magic and worship that leaves them both gasping for their breaths. They stop as effortlessly as they started, and fall back to their original positions.

It's hard, everyday, to walk with his head held high, his chin up in defiance to those who hate him for being who he is. Sometimes Alec feels empty, like a puppet being pulled by the strings of the Clave, his parents, the entire world. It's easy to feel like he is inside the bubble again, watching things go by behind a wall. But things are different now, he has a anchor that doesn't let him fade away.

He falls back to reality, gently. A kiss, a hand to the the back of his neck, a gentle caress in his arms and he is seen. A hug, a breath, and he sees again. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr for more emotional malec:  
>  marieruby.tumblr.com


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